Oh wow. There's a sister in my congregation who flew overseas to see her dying JW mother. This sister has a few siblings - two of whom were disfellowshipped over 20 years ago. Naturally, these long-disfellowshipped siblings were there to care for their dying mother also. This sister was completely okay to unite with her disfellowshipped brother and sister to help their mother on her death bed. HOWEVER, there was ONE sibling who is an active JW who REFUSED to even enter the house while her disfellowshipped brother and sister where there caring for their mom. She made a point of even telling the mother as she was dying, "you will NOT be in paradise for using your death as an excuse to associate with your disfellowshipped children. You are DISLOYAL to Jehovah." This self-righteous JW abandoned her mother on her deathbed because she said she was being "loyal to Jehovah."
The sister from my cong was so horrified and even tried to reason with her own sister that Jesus instructed Christian children to care for their parents of old age and not to abandon their responsibilities. She tried to appeal to her JW sister that her siblings had been disfellowshipped for sins they were no longer committing, and over TWO DECADES ago. Certainly, the demise of their mother was worthy of at least having communication with them now? Her sister would have none of it and rebuked her dying mother with disgust. Also, NO Witnesses from the mother's congregation would visit the mother because they all heard that the disfellowshipped son and daughter were visiting. The mother died alone, without all her lifelong friends from her congregation and with one of her daughters missing. Only the two disfellowshipped siblings and the sister from my cong had enough humanity in them to overlook rigid policies during this tragedy.
After the mother passed away, the sister from my cong received a visit from two elders - not to console her for her loss - but to COUNSEL HER for breaking "Jehovah's command" and associating with her disfellowshipped siblings after twenty years.
You'd THINK this was the wake up call this sister needed. Sadly, it wasn't. She was "humbled" and eternally sorry to Jehovah, hopping her can overlook her "weakness" (read: natural affection). I was still attending meetings back when this had happened, but was on my way to being fully awake. I tried so hard to point out that her mother's demise was SULLIED by the WT. That her mother's last moments were tarished by the harshness of these cold, inhumane policies. And this poor sister just told me, "it's okay, because this life isn't really all there is. My mom is coming back in the paradise, and she won't even remember this. Neither will I! I just need to lean on Jehovah and he'll give me the strength to put this behind me."
The very notion of dismissing reality as "not real" and putting all your eggs in a basket you can only access after you die is astonishing. This "leave it to Jehovah" attitude is in no way humble or virtuous.
It's reckless.